4thWaveNow is evolving

As 4thWaveNow approaches its first birthday, the site is slowly transforming from a personal blog into a community of parents and friends who have become vital and indispensable content creators. Since 4thWaveNow’s inception, the comments sections have been populated by thoughtful and well spoken people. Some of those commenters are morphing into what I can only call “staff writers,” and for that I’m very grateful.

In the next day or two, I’ll be publishing a third piece by overwhelmed, one of the first parents to discover 4thWaveNow. In the last several weeks, the site has featured guest posts by other parents, as well as “gender nonconforming” women who at some time in their lives considered “transition,” but turned back. [NB: I think I’m going to start replacing the hackneyed and problematic “gender nonconforming” with “gender defying,” a wonderful coinage by fightingunreality, another key member of the 4thWaveNow community.]

I’m very grateful to all who’ve joined me here. I’ll be continuing to write posts myself, but I want to urge and support more readers in adding their voices. So consider this an official call for submissions, and spread the word. (In case it’s not obvious, let me make it plain—so far, this is an all-volunteer effort, so your reward will be the minds you open, not any increase in your pocket money.) I’m looking for both personal narratives/memoirs as well as news/analysis pieces.

As regular 4thWaveNow readers know well, there is nowhere else on the Internet where the perspective of parents skeptical of child/youth “transition” is featured as it is here. But while parents are particularly encouraged to contribute, so are other people who’ve been personally impacted by the trans-kid trend. Anyone who understands and supports the gender-defying mission of 4thWaveNow is encouraged to add your voice. And if you have ideas or suggestions for future posts—to be written by yourself or 4thWaveNow “staff writers”–please share them in the comments section below this post.

Thank you to every one of you who have helped make 4thWaveNow not only a safe harbor for parents dealing with this trend, but also a hub for high-caliber analysis and intellectual rigor. We’re all in this together, and I’m so glad you’re here.

We who congregate here often feel our voices are drowned out by the louder ones in the medical and media establishments. It’s a lonely exploration, but a vital one for this moment in history. Each time I open my home page, I am encouraged by the late, great poet Adrienne Rich, whose words will ever be my talismans and my touchstones:

I came to explore the wreck.
The words are purposes.
The words are maps.
I came to see the damage that was done
and the treasures that prevail.
I stroke the beam of my lamp
slowly along the flank
of something more permanent
than fish or weed

 the thing I came for:
the wreck and not the story of the wreck
the thing itself and not the myth


27 thoughts on “4thWaveNow is evolving

  1. Nice to hear your update, 4th Wave…I’ve watched this place morph with interest and gratitude. I may one day become one of your staff writers who speaks of my own experience watching my son fall into the trans cult and disappear. At the moment, I’m still too sad and mystified to even begin…which makes me all the more thankful for your writing here and that of other parents along with some young people who have gone some way down the rabbit hole and have emerged at last with things to tell us. All give me hope, and I need that. I suspect many of us do.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I like “gender defying.” I was thinking the other day of how irritating the word “femininity” is, what with having nothing to do with being female, or feminism. Maybe we should rebrand that “gender submission.”

    Liked by 6 people

  3. I love the way this blog has evolved over time; personal stories and analysis of the way science is being manipulated. If there is any way I can help, I’m willing to contribute my widow’s mite.

    I know what it is like to experience the pain and anger of losing a loved one to the trans cult. I know how hurtful it is to be blamed for not being fully supportive from day one; when a person replies to you with rhetoric that you don’t recognise anymore. I also know how much of a life line even a single blog can be when it all seems so overwhelming. But now it’s time to cast off my widow’s weeds.

    I’ve been putting some stuff together in the wake of the recent UK parliamentary inquiry into transgender issues. If I could send it to you by email when I’ve tidied it up please let me know.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. The evolution and growth of community around this one blog is tremendous – and all in less than a year? Especially considering the forces so often rallied against 4thwavenow (the blue hellsite, ahem) and the amount of courage it takes to speak out against the popular ideology of the day. Tremendous appreciation for all you’ve done, for giving so many voices a place to speak and for enlightening so many minds.

    If I could make one suggestion for future articles, as it’s been on my mind for a bit now, if there’s any way to gather together some “coping skills” for families going through this, I think it could be very helpful. The scientific articles are convincing and the personal stories inspiring, but some practical “Well what do I do now?” answers could be very useful. I don’t know how much evidence would be required (or how many disclaimers) however.

    I really like the term “gender defying” myself. I recently read that “gender non-conforming” has gotten watered down and taken up by the special snowflakes as well, and it also seems to get lumped in with trans too often, as if being trans and being GNC are the same thing (which we know they’re not.) Gender defying sounds much more like a state of being in its own right.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you for your fine contributions here, softspace, as well as your own wonderful blog (linked in my blogroll). I love the “coping skills” suggestion. A “roundtable” discussion published as a post might be one way to go about that.

      But in the meantime, I hope readers will take the time to check out the comments sections on many posts here, where parents often share their advice and experiences with their trans-identified kids.

      Liked by 2 people

  5. Tacking on my appreciation for all you do as well. So thankful to have found your blog. It really helped keep me sane during my daughter’s trans phase.

    Also, I’m grateful for the platform you’re providing for people like myself to speak out. The public needs to learn about the harms and heartache caused by the transgender trend. And, I’m motivated and happy to help spread the word.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. It is great to see your blog growing and changing and providing a space for parents to discuss these issues. I also appreciate your collecting personal stories and sharing them. Parents of adolescents with gender dysphoria have probably been the largest demographic of people that write to me on my site, and it is good to have somewhere to send them!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I add my thanks to you, 4thwavenow, for creating this place for us to come together to learn as well as share through our own experiences.
    I cried when I found your blog. It really is mind blowing that parents, spouses, siblings and other caring family members are so often ignored or vilified when trying to come to terms with what is happening and find ways to deal with the issues.
    Your work is saving so many!

    Liked by 2 people

  8. This site gave me hope and strength to stop running scared and be angry. Thank you. With a little luck, my kid will turn a corner and be the awesome young woman I know she is. Thanks.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. I thought you might want to see this. An inspirational girl from Pakistan who travels on her motor bike and documents her travels here……https://www.facebook.com/zenithirfan.zi/timeline

    So inspirational and moving. She writes beautifully too. A real antidote to all the ”x months on T” blogs.

    CNN have caught up with her and I’m sure she will become more talked about……


    (I thought maybe it could be used in a post about girls who have pushed society’s expectations of them as women and achieved their goals despite hurdles in their way? Otherwise, just enjoy)

    Liked by 1 person

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