From Blue to Pink – When the Trans Virus strikes home

From the UK, a story of a teen girl’s desistance, from her mum’s persepective.

You won’t find these accounts in the mainstream media. You will continue to find them here. In addition to reblogs, 4thWaveNow is always interested in personal stories like these. Please let us know if you would like to guest post here.


Apologies for length of this but inspired by Lily Maynard and her daughter and  I decided to share. Purple Sage and Crash also great source of courage at a difficult time. Grateful to those who helped me and keen to keep getting the truth out there.’

From Blue to Pink – Negotiating the Trans Virus

My daughter is extremely bright, most articulate when argumentative and loves a cause. The early teenage years were predictable, arguments were over make-up, the height of heels, the off shoulder and belly crops. By 14 she looked 17 but socially, despite her best efforts to look good, she was mostly online or at school. Chief among her better qualities was a strong sense of social justice and she loved a cause. Over a few years she moved from animal rights, black rights, gay rights, before landing on Transgender rights.

To begin with, hair got shorter…

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12 thoughts on “From Blue to Pink – When the Trans Virus strikes home

  1. “For fear of causing offence to a minority of adults, we risk harming a significant number of children.”


    Congratulations on your perseverance and the positive outcome in guiding your daughter back to physical, material reality and acceptance of herself. I think it’s what all of the parents who frequent here want and want to facilitate.

    Liked by 7 people

  2. Thank you so much for this post. It gives hope to the rest of us and encourages the patience we know we must have but struggle to practice. My daughter is I hope on the same road as yours. We have used her preferred name and allowed the clothes changes and haircut but no binder. After much discussion including me slipping in information from this site to her she is now sayig she is neither male nor female and is not looking to change her body with hormones or surgery. I am cautiously, very cautiously, optimistic. I doubt she will ever come out and say she is female, she always struggles to admit she is wrong, but there are small signs. She also has a new group of friends, all female who seem to accept her as one of them and indeed she acts as one of them whenin that group. I don’t know for certain how things will turn out but i do feel that focusing on other things like building on my relationship with her and encouraging female friendship and behaviour has helped and she does seem happier so i have everythig crossed. Like you we have changed little at school although she does use her preferred name there. I am also hoping those in authority read these posts and get the point that these girls who, in the confusion of adolescance, think they are male are just in need of support whilst figuring out who they really are – their own kind of female

    Liked by 3 people

    • That rings very familiar and very positive. You are right about admitting they are right, easier to just allow them space to come back. Hard as it is to ask her about it all I decided unless she raises it, better not to. Yes, it is hard to celebrate when the still seem vulnerable. Life, time and experience will do the hard work now.

      Liked by 2 people

      • In the same situation here. Still using a male name and pronouns but we are trying to keep her safe and supported while she has the space to figure things out, and hoping that nothing irreversible happens. I love the phrase “their own kind of female”!
        These are vulnerable teenagers who need care and support, not affirmation and hormones. School leaders and politicians take note what happens when you only listen to activists and not to science.

        Liked by 3 people

      • I learnt I cannot control what happens in Society but I can exert influence in my own home. What was effective for me was not using her name, ‘dinner ready is sufficient’ etc. In company I would direct questions needed a ‘she’ or name response to her. Meanwhile keep yourself well, when this is over you will need your health.


  3. Such a sad and familiar story– but this one has a happy ending. I am glad the mom was able to understand what was happening and that her daughter came back.

    Liked by 4 people

  4. We moved across the country when my daughter started to break free from the trans narrative. We couldn’t stay where we were because she kept getting pulled back in. The peer-pressure, when trans ideology is present in a friend group, is too powerful.

    Had she not completely desisted, my next step was going to be taking her to India for a few months. I was grasping at straws but hoped that traveling, being surrounded by novelty, lots and lots of one-on-one attention, and seeing poverty and suffering on that kind of magnitude first-hand, would shock her awake to her first-world problems.

    I know all that sounds drastic. Letting her continue on a path toward medical transition felt even more drastic. If she were ill, I would have quit my job to take care of her, or moved to where there was better care/treatment. This was no different.

    And a big resounding YES to helping them get angry – turn that anger outward, toward culture/Patriarchy, rather than inward towards their bodies.

    I’m broke. I gave up my job to move. I would do it again.

    Liked by 4 people

    • Excellent call, TreadingWater. I think many of these kids would be perfectly fine if they had a gap year or a change of scenery– a lack of internet connection too. If I were a counselor, it is what I would prescribe.

      Liked by 4 people

  5. Thanks for this post! I have managed to get rid of the binders as well. I think it is all fading with my daughter as well, but scared to get my hopes up. All the support and advice on this site has been invaluable.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Thank you for this post. Our story is very similar. One year ago the announcement came, then the clothes and then the hair. Her group of friends ( who thankfully are not going through this) are nearly all accomodating and call her by her preferred name and to an extent by ‘he’. I drew the line at a binder, so it’s just a sports bra for evenings and weekends. We don’t use the preferred name at home and we don’t say he, but we do avoid saying she just to keep the situation calm. I also try to speak directly to her. I am fuming though because the school nurse has now got wind of this and took it upon herself to suggest that she look at the Mermaids website which we have been avoiding all year. I am trying to get her involved iin a cause or project but she doesn’t seem interested. It’s a constant battle and a daily struggle but I won’t give up. She is only just 14 so I am hoping that time is on our side. I just want this nightmare to be over.

    Thinking of everyone on site site and good luck to you all.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I know your post is from July, but just wondered how you are getting on? I am exactly the same boat but drowning at the same time! I cannot comprehend how my 13 year old can self diagnose such a crazy thing…she is so adamant its scary. Do you monitor computer / internet use?
      Hope to hear from you…


  7. My daughter too has been saying that she thinks she is a boy. She is newly 16, brilliant, and until recently had few friends. I honestly think that she has found acceptance on the online community and with some friends in real life who also were sort of socially awkward. She is being constantly praised for her “bravery” by people to whom she has told her story. I would love to take her to a therapist, but my big concern is that a therapist would accuse us of some kind of abuse for not accepting who she really is. Since she is so incredibly smart, she thinks she knows better than her parents. I don’t know where to turn. My heart is broken.


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