Typical example of why so many parents are cowed into submission by trans activists

You say your son is FTM? I sincerely hope for his sake you will learn to understand him for who he is. I know you don’t want to hear this, but if you continue to see him as a gender he is not, you will ruin the relationship between you and him. Not because of doctors, not because of our culture, not because of anything else but the fact that he is a man, and one day he won’t be able to pretend to be your daughter anymore. 41% of trans people commit suicide because they can’t live out their lives in this kind of society. Do you really want to be apart of oppression that drives them to such an extreme option?

This comment, submitted to my blog by “Ashley,” has it all: Count ’em–ten male pronouns/nouns, the faux-concern about the parent-child relationship, the shaming of the clueless mother, the dire warning of future consequences–culminating, of course, in the threat of suicide.

Let me break it down for you, “Ashley,” and all the other Internet parenting experts who bludgeon us with your boring genderist propaganda.

You, along with the rest of the tiresome transition-pushing scolds, presume to know all about the home and family life of a complete stranger, based on my blog’s tag line: “Lefty, gender-critical mom of a teen would-be FTM.” You know fuck all about my daughter and where she and the rest of the family are in this journey. Of course, this is what all the hateful commenters do (and Ashley is less hateful than most–none of whom I will publish, ever). They jump to the conclusion, just like the gender doctors,  psychologists, “journalists,” and the rest of the gender-enablers, that my daughter is “a man.” This crap would be laughable if it weren’t so incredibly destructive and crazy-making for so many parents.

Right: MY daughter, who I pretended to give birth to, raised, and nurtured, whom I have lived with all these years, is a man. Because “Ashley” believes she is.  Because the Ashleys of the world say so.

Oh, and the Ashleys of the world pretend to be so concerned about my child and my relationship with her! They think we parents who contribute to this blog (which obviously “Ashley” has not bothered to read) are dumb as rocks, a pack of dull-witted bigots, thwarting our daughters’ true selves just for the hell of it, oblivious to the wise counsel of the Trans Borg that we risk “ruining our relationships” unless we “learn to understand” that they are really men. Nothing to do with the “doctors,” the “culture,” or the Internet, or the lack of role models for gender nonconforming girls who might actually deserve some other option besides crushing or slicing off their breasts and poisoning themselves with hormones. No, these girls are MEN, by god!

And the suicide card, played so predictably. The ultimate threat that has frightened so many otherwise caring and thoughtful parents into rushing their kids to the “gender therapist” to start hormones–as if there is a shred of evidence that testosterone shots have been proven to prevent suicide.

No, “Ashley,” 41% of trans people do not commit suicide.  Do “gender nonconforming” people have a higher rate of suicidal ideation (which is where the 41% figure came from)? You bet. Why is that? Is it because their parents won’t use “preferred pronouns?” Is it because they weren’t allowed to inject hormones? Is it because mean mom or dad still stupidly believes their girl child is their daughter? Or could it be because these girls live in a place and time where not fitting into a gender stereotype is a stressful and demeaning experience? Is it because of the pressure brought to bear on them to “identify” as something other than a teen girl–as “genderqueer,” “bigender,” “gender fluid,” “agender,” “panssexual” or even just “cis,” which is boring as hell and not as exciting as some “trans” kid with his own TV show. Is it because their parents are homophobic? Is it because some of these girls have underlying mental issues–depression, anxiety, autism? Which is it, “Ashley?” You’re the expert, aren’t you? You didn’t just pull that 41% out of your ass, did you, having not even read the flawed survey study that generated the 41% number?

Tell you what, “Ashley.” Why don’t you mind your own cyber-business and leave me and the other parents on this blog to the hard work of raising our kids with love and intelligence? There seem to be hundreds of you with too much time on your hands, feigning concern about the children of strangers. And with the hours you free up, maybe spend a little time educating yourself about child and adolescent development, historical medical fads, and the dubious history of “transgenderism.” Oh, and while you’re at it, I invite you to read more of my blog, and particularly the comments written by the parents you and your ilk love to demean. You just might learn something new from people who dare to think for themselves.

65 thoughts on “Typical example of why so many parents are cowed into submission by trans activists

  1. Pingback: The Biggest Suicide Rate Examined | PetuniaCatLand

  2. Its like the satanic abuse fear that therapists began to push in the 1980s. Therapists were convincing parents that their children were victims of satanic-sexual abuse, and the entire family was under mind control to block it out. Mainstream therapists were pushing confessions under hypnosis, families were ruined, jailed on repressed, non existent memories. Sometimes, there was nothing but a substance abuse problem with one person, and they ripped apart whole families getting them to accuse each other of abuse.


    You have to watch out how much power you give people over your kids. This trans-trend is another satanic abuse scare to push a treatment. Instead of your kids being kidnapped while you are under mind control, now they scare parents with mass suicide threats, and accuse the parents of causing suicide in the same breath. They are the idiots encouraging the young people to use suicide threats gaslighting parents, and the trans cult will often glamorize suicide and encourage teens to use this to demand permanent life-altering surgery while they are experiencing swings in normal puberty. This is so middle age men can explain away their want to explore their fetish in public, and homophobic people can push ‘trans’ as a way to sterilize people suspected of being gay. .

    This is a sad witch hunt for children that ‘may’ become gay. What blow-hards they are for telling you they know your kid better than you? the mother? Men looking to exploit children hate that children trust their mothers to keep them safe, and these men find ways to drive a wedge between mother & child to take full advantage of a child. I hope this doesn’t ruin the parent/child relationships in too many families before this fad gets spent and it’s yesterdays sad joke.

    You can’t trust these cult members with your kids.

    Liked by 10 people

    • That was a lightbulb comment for me, thank you! There always has to be one therapist with an ego the size of Texas who just has to discover a new “problem” in their field, and then all the other therapists rush to fill their pockets with all the new “sufferers”. Anyway, thanks again!

      Also, most excellent blog! I found it by following links from links, so frustrated with all the kids “love bombing” each other into the trans cult.

      Remember how the medical community approved of lobotomies for “uppidity” and hysterical women back in the day? And doctors were still performing lobotomies until 1960 something — did anybody ever sue the medical community for all the harm they caused? The reason I ask, is that I’m wondering if it were possible to sue the medical community now. They really need to be held accountable and stop hiding behind “oh gosh we didn’t know that thing was harmful”.

      Well, there’s been plenty of evidence which does suggest they already know transitioning isn’t the panacea that they originally thought, and it’s past time the medical community paid for it’s damage caused.

      Liked by 2 people

      • “Transitioning” as a psychiatric “cure” for homosexuality has been used outright in the past in some countries and still being used so today in Iran and other countries that outlaw homosexuality but condone, or even subsidize transsexuality.


        “The long history of medical treatment to convert homosexuals to heterosexuals reached a peak in the seventies. The results were unconvincing, if not hopeless, and experience showed that neither patients nor therapists found it satisfactory.7,8 With removal of the definition of homosexuality as an illness from the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders in 1973,9 interest in treatment faded and it would be thought the matter was of interest only to historians.

        These developments had little influence on psychiatrists in the South African Defence Force. Militarisation of the white population escalated after the establishment of universal conscription in 1967. Conscript ranks were screened for homosexuals by doctors and chaplains. Threatened with punishment if they did not comply, they were admitted to the secretive Ward 22 at 1 Military Hospital, Voortrekkerhoogte, Pretoria. In later years, homosexual women were also selected.

        Subjects were first given crude behaviour therapy. This consisted of exposure to black and white pictures of naked men while receiving electric shocks, then viewing Playboy magazine centrefolds. The shock was so intense that in one case the subject’s shoes flew off.10

        Homosexuals were indiscriminately grouped in the psychiatric ward with drug abusers, conscientious objectors, the politically unreliable, and the seriously mentally ill. They were often subjected to narcoanalysis, showing an ominous similarity to psychiatric re-education in the Soviet Union. Others were chemically castrated with massive doses of hormones. Drug addicts were threatened with transport to remote Greefswald (later Magaliesoord), regarded as little less than a forced labour camp.

        Accounts exist of suicide during treatment and after discharge. The most well known is Jean Erasmus, who killed himself after providing detailed information about the programme.

        The next stage in treatment went beyond any justifiable basis. Recurrent allegations have been made that between 1969 and 1987 approximately 900 men and women had gender reassignment surgery, the only known example of such operations being performed in military hospitals.10,11 They were given new identity documents, discharged from the military, and told to cut themselves off from family and friends.

        The casualty rates were high. Patients died during surgery, and some were discharged before reassignment was completed, with extra surgery required. Preoperative or postoperative assessment was not done, informed consent was not obtained, and expensive hormone regimens were needed to maintain appearance. Patients later petitioned the military for compensation to pay for hormones or surgery.

        The rationale for giving homosexuals reassignment surgery, in complete ignorance of the scientific literature on transsexualism, can only be described as repulsive. It was based on the simplistic belief that male homosexuals were sissies, female homosexuals were tomboys, and surgery would end their preference for the same sex by allowing them to fulfil their projected role in the opposite sex. The only conclusion that can be reached is that the psychiatrists involved were not only woefully and balefully ignorant but functioned as an extension of the military ethos.

        Rumours of these activities circulated for years,12 but details of the programme first came to light at hearings of the Truth and Reconciliation Commission with submission of The Aversion Project, a detailed investigation of treatment of homosexuals in the South African Defence Force by a coalition of groups, including the Medical Research Council.”

        Liked by 2 people

    • In a larger sense, it reminds me of the whole “recovered memory” phenomenon. While there were some people with legitimate issues, it all became a HUGE fad and the mental health system allowed itself to be co-opted until the weight of fallacy brought almost all of it down.

      Liked by 3 people

    • Great points! Thank you for the link, dsgr554. I’ve been meaning to read more into the similarities between the repressed memory/satanic ritual abuse craze and what is happening now. History keeps repeating itself. When will we ever learn?

      Liked by 3 people

  3. BTDT. I was told I’m not allowing my child to blossom into who he/she…uhhh is. Will be.. I don’t know. LOL What do I know. I only live with him and see him everyday and talk to him and hug him when he cries and stuff. I can’t possibly care nor know what goes on. Let the strangers in the trans club sooth him and tell him there there it’ll be alright once you take the drugs and cut off your dick and put on a dress and panties.

    Liked by 4 people

    • Doesn’t matter who might get injured in their need to have their fetish “validated” – supportive wives, offspring, random vulnerable young people on the internet. All fodder.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Because they know, deep down, they’re in the wrong and desperately try to silence that little voice reminding them that they’re wrong.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. I’m new here, so I don’t know how old 4th Wave’s child is. But a teenager, whether female or male, is not a man. Or a woman. While teens know more about who they are, who they want to be, and what goes on in the world around them compared to young children, they still need supervision and guidance. Their ability to make decisions is not fully developed. They need someone to say no to bad ideas, or to put the brakes on idea that might be OK five or ten years down the road but isn’t right for this teen at this particular time.

    I wonder what these activists would say if confronted with a 14-year-old biological female who is so sure she wants to have a baby? Plenty of girls that age insist they are ready for motherhood. They want a baby to love. They want a baby to dress up in cute clothes. They’re not one of those girls who wants to go to college and have a career; they always wanted to be a mom. If you’re a mom, people treat you like you’re grown, even if you’re fourteen. You might be able to get your own apartment, away from your mom and your asshole stepfather. Your best friend from middle school has a baby now– your kids could have so much fun growing up together! And your boyfriend will love the baby soooo much. He will never leave you. Because the three of you will be a family!

    Of course, it almost never works out that way. But try telling that to a headstrong fourteen-year-old with the above mindset. Unlike a trans kid who wants blockers or hormones, this girl doesn’t need to go to a doctor or get her parents’ permission to have a baby. What if she did, though? What if one of these activists came across a 14-year-old girl who tried to get pregnant but couldn’t? Now she wants to see a fertility specialist. Would they be OK with this? Would they say she’s old enough to decide what she wants to do with her own life? Would they say the girl’s mom is mean for telling her no, you’re too young, you have to wait until you’re at least 18 before you can have a baby? Is the mom an evil witch if she realizes her daughter needs counseling, not fertility treatments?

    Now, if this were a blog where parents were sending their gender nonconforming kids to ex-gay camps or religious reparative therapy treatment centers, I would understand the activists’ anger. So far, I don’t see anyone here who is doing that. I’m also not hearing about kids being sent to secular reparative therapists who use behavior modification to “train” female children to wear dresses and male children to play with GI Joes. If I am reading this blog correctly, most of you are looking for help in the form of a middle ground, a place between “force Zoey to act like a girl” and “your Zoey is really a boy named Zack– forget his other problems, he needs male hormones now!”

    Liked by 11 people

  5. Ok I am slow. I just realized someone posted this to your blog. Why in hell would someone come here to say that? Why would they bother? That’s really really just strange stuff. I don’t go to blogs that support this nonsense to scream and yell at them. (Although I definitely fantasize about doing so..LOL.)

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Parents know their kids better than strangers on the internet. I am pretty sure the Ashleys of the world post these comments to feel self righteous. They don’t actually care about the real people who have to live this instead of just talking about it online.

    Liked by 8 people

  7. Btw, I’ve visited this blog once or twice before (following links) and this is the first time I noticed your tag line… Just wanted to let you know, thank you so much for trying so hard to help your daughter. Someday she will look back on this time and thank you. All these kids today, ruining their health and mutilating their bodies and all for what? So they can fit into a rigid stereotype of what it means to be a human? Girls can do anything they want, in the bodies they were born in. There’s no need to mutilate it. Change society, not your body. I hope your daughter can work towards a world where a woman can be assertive or like working on cars or whatever it is that she wants to do but clearly right now doesn’t feel like women are allowed.

    Anyway, I understand it’s difficult going against the trans train but stay strong! You are doing great work here!! Other parents need to know that they don’t have to fall for the trans propaganda, and it’s so much easier for them to resist when they see you doing it to!

    Liked by 4 people

  8. After reading dsgr554’s link to the Slate article I read the following short article by a psychologist on the psychiatric establishment’s participation in the Satanic ritual abuse moral panic. How they legitimized it and fanned the flames. The weird behavior of psychiatrists in it is super creepy. Their willingness to believe things that are clearly untrue has a resonance with the trans mess.


    Liked by 3 people

    • Thanks, Petuniacat! I read some of the article, and I found the comments very interesting as well. I particularly liked Allen Frances, MD’s two comments (kind of long-winded, but refreshingly sane). I also liked the last sentence in Farrel’s comment: “If you define it and diagnose it, you will create a lot of true believers.”
      There is so much here relatable to the current trans trend.

      Liked by 2 people

    • “Let us all PLEASE learn from this history, lest we repeat it again, and again. Therapists’ compassion and support for their patients is laudable and admirable. But when therapists “know” things are true, despite a lack of evidence, we must ask what processes are at play? Confirmation bias, group psychology, countertransference and sample bias all play a role. Today, the behavioral addictions industry “knows” that sex, porn, shopping, gaming, etc. are addictive. Unfortunately, their commitment to this belief blinds them to the influence of these same influential processes. These lessons should help us all to attend to the value of science, and objective data, as a means to overcome these subjective biases and processes. Such lessons help us to ensure we help, not hurt, our patients through well-intended, but ill-informed therapeutic actions.”

      From a comment at the link you posted. I wish there were more therapists who had the integrity to step back and examine the real forces shaping the trans

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Righteous anger! And ex home birther above is quite right – they do not give a shit about your daughter and your actual life, they’re having a wank about how self righteous they are and what fantastic trans allies they are. Ick, sorry you’ve ended up with their spunk on your blog. 😦

    Liked by 4 people

  10. Ah, sorry, I just remembered that my mode of expression is a bit too sweary for your blog! Please ignore that one, but you have my solidarity when it comes to dealing with the ignorant Ashleys of the world (and the malicious ones, of whom I suspect there are an enormous number).

    Liked by 3 people

  11. Pingback: Typical example of why so many parents are cowed into submission by trans activists | Stop Trans Chauvinism

  12. Its true that these interfering cranks want to have as many trans as possible to validate their own decisions. It is never about the child. It’s about making themselves feel they are in the right and there is safety in numbers.
    That’s part of the reason they won’t talk about detransitioners who realise they should never have done hormones etc in the first place and are living with the fallout. They say it’s because they were never trans in the first place. So tell me how you really, truly know for certain it is the right thing for a kid to do if, as you say, some made the wrong diagnosis and were never authentic trans to begin with?

    Liked by 4 people

    • This drives me crazy as all get out. They even verbally attack people who speak out that their transitions were a mistake. What happened to letting a person “be who they are” or “live their truth”? The truth is some people feel lit was a mistake and are brave enough to admit it. They have every right to talk about that fact and should not be silenced.

      If something cannot stand up to questioning, I have zero respect for it. Especially if we are talking about something so life altering and potentially dangerous and damaging.

      Liked by 4 people

      • Of course, they would deny that. They are just helping these poor trans kids to “transition” as young as possible so they don’t have to suffer like they did. That is the rationale I’ve seen over and over again. Having to wait until adulthood to transition is an unspeakable tragedy. And the pediatric gender specialists are right on board with that justification.

        Liked by 3 people

  13. The only way this POV makes sense is if ‘brain sex’ is a real thing and if the notion of being trans is a ‘born that way’ thing, the truly ‘wrongbody’ trope. You accept that, and you are free to have Ashley’s position regarding supportiveness or lack thereof. You are free to respond as you would to parents who were denying insulin to a kid with Type 1 diabetes. Some of them really, really believe that this is the truth of the matter.

    Since I have yet to see convincing, research-based evidence of ‘brain sex’ and ‘born that way’ and ‘wrongbody’ — I have to fall back on common sense and my knowledge of my own kid’s mental health history and ‘first, do no harm.’ Even though I do not get any validation from the progressive liberals whom I would once have viewed as my own tribe. (Not any more. But that’s a whole different post.)

    Of course, Ashley’s POV also makes sense if you desperately need the number of trans ppl to increase, especially juvenile trans ppl, so the whole paradigm and resulting treatments can be normalized for the general public and lawmakers and med/psych providers and insurance companies. But that’s a different objective than ‘we’re so worried about you parents and your relationship with your kids, and your kids’ safety and health.’ Yes? Different objective.

    Well, Ashley, imma give you the benefit of the doubt, which is obviously something YOU are not doing for 4thwave and the rest of us out here. Imma thank you for your concern, and tell you that … hey, actually my kid is doing just fine without the drugs and the cutting, thank you. And I hope she is gonna continue doing just fine, until she reaches an age when she can make some sort of well reasoned decisions on her own behalf. Which won’t be for another, hey, eight or 10 years or so. Meanwhile — I’m not going to say ‘educate yourself’ because I’m at the point where I just roll my eyes when anybody says that. But you might want to spend some more time here reading where us ‘unsupportive’ parents are actually coming from, instead of the place where you ASSUME they are coming from.

    Peace out.

    Liked by 4 people

    • Well, since “Ashley” is telling me my “son” is only pretending to be my daughter, I guess I “pretended” to give birth to a girl. Because after all, she was really a boy, if only the backwards midwife didn’t “assign” her female at birth.

      Liked by 2 people

      • Yes we moms “assign” gender at birth. It’s all arbitrary too. Imagine that.

        But then I keep asking what exactly is gender. I can’t get good answers. If this is about us not allowing our kids to express themselves freely, to that I say BS. There is a huge difference between liking certain activities, clothing, colors, hair styles, etc. and chopping off one’s body parts.

        Liked by 2 people

      • Try asking “what is a man?” or “what is a woman?” I haven’t seen anything more substantive than “because I said so” or “I just feel like…” Or they resort to stereotypes and the list you mention above…

        Liked by 3 people

      • No, loup loup that seems highly unlikely to me. For one thing he has never gone to school. He has always been homeschooled . Not that he lives under a rock, but he isn’t in that environment on any sort of regular basis.

        He isn’t all that typical in many ways and never has been.


    • Oh the latest and greatest. I’m now encountering this stuff being referred to as “gender reassignment surgery”. This is confusing as all get out to me. I always thought gender was this sort of nebulous term.

      Going that route with that line of thinking, my kid seems to want to become a butch lesbian. That’s a pretty ironic combination. A medicated, mutilated butch lesbian male. Say that five times fast.

      If I didn’t start off insane, I’m getting there quickly.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Sorry, unrestricted, but many plastic surgeons now refer to SRS as ”gender confirmation surgery”. Sounds so much better to prospective patients!

        Liked by 1 person

      • Does your son by any chance have an idealized notion of what his life as a “lesbian” would be like? One that maybe involves not having to perform in all the ways the male half of a heterosexual couple is expected to perform? While still not having to wear high heels, because he’d be a butch “lesbian?” (And possibly drinking a lot of kale smoothies while sleeping under the stars?) What about the idea that maybe that would be a way to attract women without having to be “handsome” as a man, because, as everyone knows, butch lesbians (and most lesbians) are ugly, yet somehow still get chicks? I ask because I’ve met a few adult men who think this way.

        Then there are those straight men who want to be lesbians, and straight women who want to be gay men, because they think that’s the only way to have an egalitarian relationship with a member of the sex they’re attracted to. And they want to be “queer,” because they think it means they’re joining some sort of underground culture of resistance. I don’t doubt there’s often some plain old fetishism involved, especially with the men (and even with some of the straight women — cf. Anne Rice and pretty much everything she ever wrote about sexually ambiguous male vampires, castrati, gay guys at sex resorts, etc., etc., etc.), but I think there may something else at work, too — a sense of “Oh my God, I’m heterosexual and I can’t imagine myself actually doing what it seems like I’m supposed to do in a straight relationship, or being what it seems like I’m supposed to be…”

        I think you mentioned your son’s 13 — so, eighth grade? Junior high/middle school’s a completely sexualized environment these days, as you probably know better than I. It would not surprise me if a few teenaged boys, or even preteens, are landing on “I know, I’ll be a lesbian” as a coping strategy nowadays the same way some adult men do. I wonder if it would help for him to realize that he doesn’t have to do anything about relationships until he feels ready to be in one — even if that’s not until he’s in college, or later. I’m assuming he’s feeling the usual pressures teenager feel to date and rack up “experience” — and I could be mistaken about that. How to convey that to a 13 year old in a way that speaks louder than all the societal messages he’s receiving is something I couldn’t begin to guess at — but there’s probably someone who does know how.

        Liked by 1 person

  14. Eh, I’m one of these male “fetishists”, whatever you’d like to call it. I don’t know how exactly to identify it at this point. Ever since I was around 12, I was highly aroused by the thought of “transforming” into a woman.. It wasn’t until this year, at 22 that I discovered this “feminine” part of my sexuality again. I remember feeling strange feelings whenever someone would refer to me as “girly” in some way, shape or form.

    I thought I was homosexual at first because I liked “male” parts inside of me, but then I experimented with another male, presenting as a male, and felt absolutely nothing. I’m 100% attracted to females, but my kink just happens to be that I’m also turned on by presenting female, with men and women “confirming” my new status. I don’t know why it’s this way, but it is so confusing to me. Because of the extremely addictive nature of this fetish, it has escalated and caused my OCD and depression to fire up 10 fold. I lost my job, quit school, etc. I don’t really what to do about these feelings I have.

    I’m also extremely reluctant to see a “gender therapist”, because it seems like all they do is push people into putting hormones into their bodies, which I’m not at all into. I do remember thinking to myself, “women have it so much easier”, “women are the ones who are really in control, not men”, “I’m worthless as a man”, I’ve always been a very short dude at 5’5. I always thought, “if I was a chick at 5’5, I’d be attractive”.

    So anyway, here I am, confused about my sexuality, confused about everything really. I don’t know where exactly to turn or what to think.


    • Thank you for sharing joey. I am the parent of a 13 year old who sounds somewhat similar. You are right, the gender specialists currently have a very narrow view of this. I wish I had some helpful advice. All I can say is that you are in control of this and do not need to take their advice if you don’t want to. Perhaps one way to approach this would be to seek treatment for the OCD and depression and see how you feel about the rest of it when that is under control.

      You are not worthless as a man and there is nothing wrong with your height. My husband was convinced he’d never find anyone either. It’s pretty normal to feel awkward in that department.

      Then again, your confusing thoughts are a real thing some other males experience. No need to feel ashamed of it. Some women would have no problem with it at all. Just be honest about it. You don’t want to spring that on someone 20 years into a relationship.

      And some do report that the hormone therapy and SRS works for them. That’s not an easy road though and definitely carries a lot of risks. Only you can decide if that is the best path for you.


      • But even for the people who say that hormones and SRS “work for them,” do they “work” long term? The only truly long term study of this (decades), from Sweden, shows a very high rate of depression, self harm, and suicide amongst males who “transitioned” earlier in life.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Yeah 4thwave. That is the problem. We really do not know. Many do not follow up. I imagine many would not be so honest as to say it was a huge mistake. We can’t even get an accurate idea of how many committed suicide as a result because people don’t list their loved ones as being an altered male or female in the obituary. Many people also say that these gender specialists and doctors aren’t being honest about side affects or complications.

        I find it comical that the argument against the Swedish study often goes something like this: “When people argue against these treatments they bring up the Swedish study.” And that is it. That is “the” argument. That people bring up the Swedish study. Okay….


    • Hi, Joey. I’m sorry that this is causing you so much pain. Are you being treated for your OCD? As an adult, depending on your therapist and where you live, if you mention that your sexual thought center AT ALL on opposite-sex issues, you might be railroaded into being identified as trans.

      Most of us here (but not all) are dealing with minor children and our main concern is helping our children and changing the current narrative that a child’s desires and thoughts are always right and permanent when their brains are still developing. At 22, most research has shown that your brain IS still developing. You also mention that you have a pre-existing or co-existing thinking/mood disorder. I would really urge you to seek assistance in breaking the cycle of disordered, obsessive thoughts and compulsive rituals. I would warn that if you feel that the sexual fantasies could be an outgrowth of the anxiety and anxious thinking? You might want to wait to talk about that until you can get a handle on the anxiety and OCD and have a better chance of seeing if the sexual thoughts become manageable, too, along with the other thinking patterns.

      Be aware, your described thoughts about how great it is to be a woman? Many actual women (natal/born/natural whatever) would tell you that being a woman is not some free pass to Disneyland.

      I am sorry to hear how difficult this is for you and how you’re obviously suffering. I sincerely hope you find the help you want and can work toward an outcome which brings you some peace and some happiness. Also, you can “identify” as yourself, as Joey. The best of luck.


    • For men who do not want to transition, I would recommend three websites: ThirdWayTrans.com, TransBlog.grieve-smith.com and chrisspagani.com/gender/treatment.htm.

      The first is by a man who transitioned and detransitioned. He is studying psychology and seeking a third path of treatment.

      The second is by a man who has chosen not to transition. He writes about the importance of recognizing and supporting people like him.

      The third is by a trans woman who talks about the possibility of alternative treatments and a possible connection to OCD.

      I am not convinced that OCD and gender dysphoria are always connected, but there are a few case reports in the literature of people who were treated for OCD and were no longer dysphoric about their gender.

      For the record, I support transition for people who need it. However, it is not the right treatment for everybody. If you don’t want it, it’s probably not right for you!


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