“He sought answers on the Internet”

He sought answers on the Internet, where one Youtuber talked about his transition to male. “I knew what trans was, but I hadn’t looked at it in depth,” Matt said. “After I started looking, I was like, ‘Wait, I can do that!’ I was like, ‘I really want to do that. I want to be him.”

These “human interest” feature stories, this one published in Philly.com, all have a very familiar pattern:

1. Never liked “girl things.” Check.

2. Was a lesbian but then rejected that identity. Check.

2. Film or book deal in the offing. Check.

3. Teen went online and binged on transition videos, which was the deciding factor. Check.

4. The coup de grâce, silencing any possibility of questions: Leelah Alcorn is mentioned. Check.

Here’s what I sincerely want to know: Why are no reporters doing stories on the girls who choose not to transition? Girls who end up, amazingly enough, happy in their bodies and, often as lesbians?

NOT transitioning is actually the brave choice today, when there is so much pressure on girls to be boys, when there is money and fame to be had if you get picked up by a major news outlet–which, judging by the daily onslaught of these stories, is not too difficult.

Even gender therapists and doctors acknowledge that the majority of gender nonconforming girls don’t end up being trans. If that is the case, there should be at least a few GNC teens willing to tell their stories. Are the reporters that lazy that they are unwilling to find a single one? How about a “compare and contrast” story, looking at one who transitioned, one who didn’t? Heck, plenty of women are telling the stories of their resolved dysphoria on Tumblr and WordPress blogs. Any of you hearing from mainstream journalists?

Trans activists love to say no one is being pushed or pressured into being trans, that it’s a horrible fate no one chooses willingly. But reading story after story like this, it sounds like a pretty interesting (and potentially lucrative) outcome.

Being a good reporter used to mean digging deep, asking hard questions, providing an alternative angle. No more.

And what about the kids who wake up one day to be adults and realize it was all a mistake? That they regret what was done to their bodies and brains–by adults–when they were too young to fully grasp their choices? What about their depression and suicidal ideation? What about the detransitioned lesbians who have to deal with this pain for the rest of their lives?

The only place you’ll find the stories of women like these is in the feminist blogosphere.

For now.

Hat tip:

Gender_Critical Feminism subReddit

10 thoughts on ““He sought answers on the Internet”

  1. Always amazes me how many injections and surgeries it takes for someone to be “true” to themselves and be “authentic.” Doesn’t anyone see any of the irony in that??

    Seriously, the degree to which the seamy underside of the trans train is hidden from the public is disturbing. I think conservatives in the US are coming to grips with the reality that gay marriage is here to stay. They’ll be looking for another boogeyman and, lo, here’s the trans community in their creepy recruitment glory to fill that role. Your post about the chest binders is Exhibit A. Even now with the mainstream media dutifully genuflecting for every high-profile trans case, the pushback is there. The active, conscious involvement of minors in and the active exclusion of parents will be the undoing of the T in the LGBT. Problem is that the LGB will be hurt by this because LGB were traditionally thought of as preying on kids. And don’t even get me started on the grown men who aren’t on hormones or have had surgery expecting to share locker rooms with children. This will end in a spectacularly bad fashion.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I’ve seen this pushback some on Facebook coming from fathers of girls. these men are typically non-political; just average Joes.. They’ve just seen that the Emperor is wearing no clothes and they’ve clearly seen the denger for their daughters in female-only spaces such as public restrooms and locker rooms.

      So, they’ve stood up and said enough is enough. I saw quite a few comments right after the Planet Fitness story from these type of men. One of these men even posted a photo of himself wearing a T shirt that said, “No penis in the womens’ locker room”.


      • Fathers are often left out of the discussion on feminist blogs, but as the daughter myself of a really awesome dad, they have a truly important role to play in this. You have any links to share? Would love to see some of this pushback.

        Liked by 1 person

      • The fact that they refer to SJWs is troubling. In addition to allying with pornographers, the trans folks want to ally with hideously misogynistic Gamergaters? Not surprising in the least.


  2. So, my teen transgender is ftm. Though she doesn’t want to be. But this is “true to herself”. ??? Is there ANY discussions on helping her realize or is the ANY medical advice to help her brain? Gosh ol’ Golly’ …. trying to be supportive but with all the media and hype. Where does a parent turn to ?


    • It’s interesting that she says she “doesn’t want to be.” That, to me, is a sign of internet consumption of a narrative that is scary — that being “nonconforming” must inevitably equal trans, and if you’re trans, you have to transition or you will kill yourself.

      None of that is true, but the kids who are imbibing their info from youtube, tumblr, reddit etc believe it’s true. I think the parent HAS to try to counter this message verbally. My own kid has said, “I didn’t ask for this” — and we’ve worked to send the message (in our case in letters to her at college) that trans identification (or even just the “nonconforming” behavior) can also be viewed as an adaptive choice that is solving some issues for the person. Issues that may not be permanent.

      As with all behavioral adaptations, there are payoffs — which will vary with the individual — but I think it’s really helpful for these kids to at least hear the following:

      1) there is zero scientific evidence that the stuff you are feeling — which is undeniably real and strong — has a biological basis. zero. there is zero evidence that it is, for instance, something like a birth defect, or something different in the structure of your brain. (transactivists and their doctor allies continue to express every confidence that we just have not found it yet, but in fact — zero evidence.)

      2) your gender identification is a choice — it’s an IDENTIFICATION. it’s not the same as your biological sex, which (despite pomo interpretations and a low number of exceptions to dimorphism) is governed by your anatomy.

      3) This means that you have a choice to embrace it or leave it or work with some degree of it over time, as your life circumstances change and your brain develops.

      I can’t say that any of these messages will “take.” Close to four years into this “thing” we remain in limbo, and my kid (I know) believes her dad and I are unsupportive and that it’s “her body, her choice.” In the end this is true, but I continue to feel that every year of delay is another year that the kid can find worth in other activities, learn better how to navigate the social climate she’s living in, and develop adult-level judgement skills.

      fwiw. there is more than one way of being “supportive.” IMO if you continue to enthusiastically support/encourage/assist all other areas so kid can keep preparing foundation for adulthood (academic, financial, legal, etc), kid cannot reasonably charge you with being an unsupportive person. (I mean, they will. But nevertheless.)

      sigh. welcome to our unhappy club.


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